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How To Make REAL Friends (that help you get stronger)

Posted on 13. May, 2011 by in Mental Strength & Life, Motivation

How To Make REAL Friends (that help you get stronger)

We all know that in order to be the strongest version of ourselves possible we need to surround ourselves with like minded people, a tribe of strength, if you will.

Ideally these are friends and associates who reflect your values.  They understand and share your goals and your mutual appreciations propel each other toward the achievement of those goals.

So, how do we find these people?  What if your life is in transition and the people you used to hang out with no longer reflect who and what you are?

One of my personal sources for insight and wisdom is Ralph Waldo Emerson.  Emerson was a founder of the Transcendentalist Movement of the 1830s and 40s.

You may have been introduced to some of his writings in your American Lit classes in High School and College.

Emerson was the original rugged individualist.  This might make it odd that I seek wisdom from him in regards to friendship, but what he has to say is really quite profound.

My friends have come to me unsought. The great God gave them to me. By oldest right, by the divine affinity of virtue with itself, I find them, or rather not I, but the Deity in me…

You don’t need to go out seeking friends.  If you make yourself available, they will find you.

Remember all that hubbub about The Secret?  For a while there it seemed that all anybody could talk about was the Law of Attraction, the idea that like attracts like.

Fortunately, it’s true.  And if you stop to think about it a minute it’s really a “no brainer.”

Who spends time hanging out with people they don’t like?

So you can see this goes both ways.  Just as you are attracted to people who reflect your goals and aspirations, other people are attracted to you for the same reason.

So what about the friends you currently have?  What if you have changed since they became your friends and now they don’t quite measure up the way they used to?

In the immortal words of Donnie Brasco, “Forget about it.”

Emerson says,

Is it not that the soul puts forth friends as the tree puts forth leaves, and presently, by the germination of new buds, extrudes the old leaf? The law of nature is alternation for evermore.

Change is, ironically, the only constant in life.  As life changes, as you change, friends will come and go.  Don’t be too caught up with clinging to friends that are moving on or cutting ties with the ones who “just don’t fit” the way they used to.

The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one…In the last analysis, love is only the reflection of a man’s own worthiness from other men.

Ghandi said, “Be the change you want to see.”  You want friends to help you in your journey of strength?  Be the type of person you’re looking for in a friend.  As you strive to become a better, stronger person you’ll find those qualities are reflected more and more in the people who surround you.

The essence of friendship is entireness, a total magnanimity and trust. It must not surmise or provide for infirmity. It treats its object as a god, that it may deify both.

Emerson saw friendship as a representation of the God principle in all of us.  True friendship, one built in openness, trust and giving gives us the opportunity to show just how clearly we are made in His image.

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